The Drunk Pedophile at the Library

Well, considering midterms are coming up, I figured perhaps studying would be a good thing and, acknowledging that we would get nothing done at home, Jackie and I went to the library to attempt to do work instead. Some of the Y Chromosomes were there so we ended up joining them and actually managed to accomplish work.

However, in our little section of quiet, work paradise, an evil darker than you could ever imagine was lurking in plain sight. He was overweight, overdressed, and sketchily keeping to his own little cubicle while the unwitting teenagers worked to the side, studying their materials and working towards perhaps not failing midterms. It was only when the y chromosomes left in search of food and our resident evil got up and left to wander in circles around the library for a few hours, leaving his stuff at the table, was his gruesome secret revealed.

One of them started texting Jackie, warning about his misdeeds and not to go any nearer to him than we had. Thinking that it was all one big joke, we just more or less laughed it off and nicknamed him the pedophile. It was only once we all returned post-din din that the true horrors were revealed. While we were sitting nearby oh-so-innoncently doing our work like good little high schoolers occasionally do he was sitting there drinking apparently cheap booze out of a bottle and watching child pornography. Quite a charmer, huh? Several of the Y Chromosomes had witnessed such actions taking place and we all shuddered and groaned, ignoring his pile of stuff and resuming our work.

Eventually a librarian worker was summoned who escourted him out of the building - although it unfortunately took our drunk, homeless pedo quite a while to do this and I was seated next to his stuff at this particular juncture in time. This caused me to be subject to his charming man-scent of bad liqour, sweat, and grime while he put everything away and sketched (the verb for sketchy people in motion) away down the hallway, before being finally thrust through the gates to the great outdoors.



Needless to say, he was not missed. At all.

Use Your Head

I'm beginning to be positive that volleyball is really quite the epic sort of pastime. The Midwestern State used his head - quite literally - in a particularly snazzy fluke in which he headed the volleyball. I would laugh at him, but I'm rather jealous of his skills since the last time my head came in contact with a volleyball (too recently for my taste) I used my face. Honestly, how do I acquire these top-of-the-head skills? Speaking of heads, Excitable Asian almost got pegged in the head by the Midwest when he was attempting to chuck the volleyball back to the sever, but she ducked at the last moment. Clearly, we do almost too good of a job using our heads during gym class.

Speaking of the Midwest, Friend A - now named Jackie because I figured it out GO ME - made up with her Y Chromosomes today. I'm so proud of her! Yay for drama being solved!

This reminds me, I did not get chocolate from Tybalt today. Although I did get mauled by sophomore-pal-who-can't-be-single-for-more-than-two-milliseconds. It was rather entertaining although I was temporarily drowned in a sea of boy-I-would-never-go-out-with. It was also probably the reason I did not get chocolate as I was so busy being mauled I think Tybalt passed me. (I didn't actually SEE him so I wouldn't know, but whatever) OH and teacher-from-the-black-lagoon-who-teaches-government will be out for a week in December. I had a very hard time not crying tears of pure joy upon finding this lovely little gold nugget of news. I do believe that December is going to be a very, very, very good month. :)

Well. This is awkward.

Hmm. First posts. I never know what to write for these things because I feel they will be horribly inadequate. Which they generally are, but that's entirely besides the point. I suppose I should start this off with something tremendously witty, but unfortunately my wit ran away and eloped last weekend. I'll let you know when it returns.

I suppose I should blame Tea for my existence here because after spending about an hour of my time reading her enormously funny blog (and avoiding learning how to identify every conceivable muscle in the human body) I decided to create one of my own. One which I will indubitably never update again but that's entirely besides the point since my goal is merely to have something with which I can proudly proclaim Tea to have another reader. For anyone who cares, I am Mandeep on her blog. And Kathrya just about everywhere else.

Regardless, I feel compelled to chronicle my weekend seeing as I have round about nothing else to do with my life other than, heaven forbid, actually start work. Unlike my darling nerdy friend, I am rather lacking in the motivation department. I would normally try to keep names consistent with her blog for the benefit of anyone who decides mine is also somewhat entertaining (doubtful) but as I currently cannot remember who is who aside from some painfully obvious ones, I shall call her Friend A. Friend A and I spent a jolly few hours watching Chicago on Friday and complaining about virtually every member of the species who happens to have a Y Chromosome. Unfortunately for you, my weekend was rather boring from there aside from some personal satisfaction found Saturday evening and Sunday.

Bert was back from college and we of course made a celebratory trip to munsons in which I bought her a pound and a half of chocolate for her birthday (a pound from my brother whom she happens to have intimate relations with. Well as intimate as dating can be with a no-down-the-pants rule. And of course a half a pound from me.)

After that I went to our school's play which was well done and proceeded to be that obnoxious kid who laughs at every concievable sexual innuendo. What else is new? During this time we ran into Friend A's friend who I shall have to call Atomic and explained to him that Friend A is rather annoyed with his y-chromosome-owning friends and as they are rather daft I do not believe they have figured it out. Silly boys.

With-An-H (Wah) and I also proceeded to dance in the hallways during intermission, practicing our cool dance moves such as the one in which you stir a pot and bring your "peace signs" over your eyes after forming them with fingers. Needless to say it was quite the sucess and I was rather sad when the lights dimmed and we had to return to our seats to pretend to be well behaved children for the second act.

After this I ended up driving to the beach, to be the only person there (hardly a surprize at it was raining and 10:30) during which I kicked off my shoes, socks, put in my iPod and danced about the beach like a mildly insane person, also wading in the surf while being texted by Tybalt whom it has occured to me that I text with too much. (He informed me we average about 100 texts a night, and 3 thousand a month. Somewhat scary.) I then hopped into my car and realised I was 20 minutes past curfew, in 10 minutes it would be illegal for me to drive anymore, and I was 15 minutes from my house.

For those who care, I made it. And stopsigns became very optional if there were no cars there.

And thus I tire of writing, so I shall sum today up in a few short points:
1. Woke up
2. Went to the barn
3. Had an amazing ride on my horse
4. Went home, blasting country music and getting odd looks
5. Took a nap
6. Recieved an awkward text from Tybalt
7. Played it off fairly well if I do say so myself and continued to procrastinate
8. Read Tea's blog, laughed my ass off
9. Wrote this masterpiece.
10. Left you all to go actually learn what I need to. Yay test first period tomorrow :)